remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
