ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
