atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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