yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
