I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i now understand why vodka
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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