I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
