I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
