What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize