And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
