We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
