She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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