so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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