Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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