What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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