I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Let's paint friendship bongs
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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