OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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