Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
and you fell through a lawn chair
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
