Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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