I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks