i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
