let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
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He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
