Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.

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  (202): remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER. http://tfl.nu/2j9f
  Replies (3) Good night (2160) Bad night (548)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.

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  (732): I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college. http://tfl.nu/q6b4
  Replies (13) Good night (701) Bad night (3763)
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  (760): View more from California

  i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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  (760): i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have http://tfl.nu/ddny
  Replies (22) Good night (964) Bad night (5249)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..

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  (+44): She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave.. http://tfl.nu/u6hz
  Replies (11) Good night (1270) Bad night (4454)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.

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  (813): im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots. http://tfl.nu/i8ur
  Replies (5) Good night (4039) Bad night (1550)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.

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  (630): There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am. http://tfl.nu/bakg
  Replies (19) Good night (1531) Bad night (2475)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.

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  (613): Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar. http://tfl.nu/8auj
  Replies (12) Good night (2746) Bad night (903)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.

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  (210): The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple. http://tfl.nu/ks4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1300) Bad night (536)
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  (619): View more from California

  He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.

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  (619): He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one. http://tfl.nu/6tfs
  Replies (6) Good night (2997) Bad night (614)
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  (107): View more from

  That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

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  (107): That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog. http://tfl.nu/02iq
  Replies (8) Good night (1268) Bad night (970)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day

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  (251): my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day http://tfl.nu/3vt7
  Replies (8) Good night (1157) Bad night (611)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up

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  (850): I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up http://tfl.nu/4e9b
  Replies (3) Good night (607) Bad night (321)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.

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  (479): Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing. http://tfl.nu/uted
  Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (263)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~

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  (504): Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~ http://tfl.nu/nmyu
  Replies (5) Good night (344) Bad night (589)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.

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  (630): He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway. http://tfl.nu/b8m9
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (634)

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