you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I look excited, but its just a facade.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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