You work out of a Hotel?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You pole danced in your parka.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
