so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
