3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Holy sore nipples Batman
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
