well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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