hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
