boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
