So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
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