you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
