Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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