it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize