Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize