You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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