STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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