Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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