I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
