went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
