I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
