hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
