part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like death gave me a hand job
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
