There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
