I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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