BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
