I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize