i think my mom watched the whole time
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
