Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize