the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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