I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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