Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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