I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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