do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
