so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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