If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
