Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How's work?
Spinning.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize