He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
