I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
