What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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