You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize