I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
