how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So much Jack, so little girl.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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