I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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