Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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