Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
