My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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