If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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