U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
