i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
