wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
