My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
