dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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