Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
