Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We got so high we made milksteak
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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