I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize