idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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