I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
