there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
